Brain droppings george carlin pdf

Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. According to the cover, the book contains “jokes, notions, doubts, opinions, questions, thoughts, beliefs, assertions, assumptions, and disturbing references” and “comedy, nonsense, satire, mockery, merriment, sarcasm, ridicule, silliness, bluster, and toxic alienation”. The following year, the paperback edition brain droppings george carlin pdf published.

Bestseller List for 20 weeks. As of January 2001, the book had sold over 750,000 total copies. He denied having read the book, but footage of Barnicle praising the book and saying “There’s a yuk on every page” turned up. Barnicle was suspended for the action. In August 1998, Hyperion published a 1999 calendar containing quips and quotes from the book.

CD and cassette tape formats. Carlin’s third, in February 2001. Since there was a 3-year gap between the printed book and the audiobook, a few things were changed due to changes in both Carlin’s personal life and in the world in general. He omitted Sinatra in the audiobook after he died in 1998. In a non-chronological change, in his “Baseball and Football” segment, he adds the weird fact that baseball is the only one of the four major American sports that is sensibly unwatchable in a mirror. What Am I Doing in New Jersey?

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This page was last edited on 19 November 2017, at 12:11. People say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand.

When the sun returns, I will resume my life. If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen. They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK?

And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. Then they would drink a lot of coffee. So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself. I’ve begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun.

It’s there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There’s no mystery, no one asks for money, I don’t have to dress up, and there’s no boring pageantry. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: ‘Please stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police. If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.

No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to. So, have a little fun.

Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. You show me a lazy prick who’s lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I’ll show you a guy who’s not causing any trouble. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple. I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there’s nothin’ like it.